My friend has cancer, and I'm not sure how to help her. Can you give me ideas?

Consider these suggestions from the National Cancer Institute on how to help friends and loved ones cope with illness. Choose ones that feel right for you and your friend.

• Don't avoid her. Treat her like the friend she has always been.
• Don't be afraid to share her emotions with her. Cry with her when she cries, laugh with her when she laughs.
• Take her out for a pleasure trip, but know her limitations.
• Go shopping for her.
• Help her celebrate holidays by decorating her hospital room or home.
• Help her family. Your friend is sick, but her family also may be suffering. Offer to stay with your friend to give family caretakers a break. Take your friend's children for outings.
• Give creative gifts: a book of thoughts, taped music, a poster, or an old friend who hasn't yet come to visit.
• Talk with her about her illness when she feels like talking. Sit silently with her when she prefers that.
• Arrange for her to get her hair done or have a manicure or massage (or do it yourself if you can).
• Talk about the future. Hope is so important.
• Keep her posted on what's happening in the world so she doesn't feel as if the world is passing her by.
• Share your faith with her.

These suggestions are from NCI's booklet, "Taking Time: Support for People with Cancer and the People Who Care About Them." Call the Cancer Information Service toll-free at 1-800-4-CANCER to request a free copy.

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